Fresh Fire

Y’all, October has been a struggle. I’ve felt every bit of the weather change, and attacks from the enemy.

I’ve had days where I felt so run-down. My spirit was sad and angry, and my body ached. I learned that a close friend betrayed me, another friend gave in to alcohol, and a dear family member is struggling in a physical battle against organ failure. October is sucking! But God is good.

My husband and I have argued more. We are both tense and agitated. I’m anxious, waiting for the next bit of bad news to arrive. He’s worried about me. His worry makes him clingy, which I find completely annoying. My annoyance leads to his testiness and defensive attitude. And then I get anxious. It is a vicious cycle. But God is still good.

I haven’t been writing, which is not good for me. I stopped playing guitar. But God is continually good.

How do I know God is good?

Because I still want my husband here, even when I’m annoyed. I know He is good because I see miracles every single day. My friends support me while I worry. Alcoholics have breakthrough. People are healed!

I know God is good because I feel His love and His small voice telling me not to be afraid.

So maybe sadness reared its ugly head. Maybe anger had a voice for a moment. Maybe the music went a little quiet for a time.

But God is still good!

And guess what? He’s always going to be good!

Sadness dulls as I look at His goodness. Anger is quenched like water putting out a fire as I ponder His love and compassion.

Notes are sounding, perhaps a little more quietly than last month. Softer, more subtle notes are still ringing true because He is still good.

I picked up the guitar again last week. My fingers remember this burn. I find it comforting now.

I remember that no matter what I see, my God is good and He is for me.

If He is for me, who can stand against me?

I dust off the emotions, set my focus on Him anew, and I love and forgive.

And then I dyed my hair a brighter, fresh shade of red because God’s fire cannot be quenched, and He is constantly reminding me that I am His.

And He is Good!

Amanda was born and raised in East Houston. She's lived all over Texas, but decided to settle in Brownwood, right in the geographical center, after a tornado destroyed her home in Van. Amanda lives with her husband, 4 children and 2 black labs. She plays piano and guitar and sings at her local place of worship, where she also works with youth ages 8-18 and helped to start a local homeless shelter. "I'm passionate about people. God loves me when I don't feel worthy, so I put forth the effort to share his grace and love with others." -Amanda M

Amanda was born and raised in East Houston. She's lived all over Texas, but decided to settle in Brownwood, right in the geographical center, after a tornado destroyed her home in Van. Amanda lives with her husband, 4 children and 2 black labs. She plays piano and guitar and sings at her local place of worship, where she also works with youth ages 8-18 and helped to start a local homeless shelter. "I'm passionate about people. God loves me when I don't feel worthy, so I put forth the effort to share his grace and love with others." -Amanda M

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